She is on a chairlift in the Black Forest

It is a frigid, foggy day. She has never seen fog like this before. It is harsh, curt, quiet, and unwelcoming.
She can only conjure images of Hansel and Gretel, children screaming to the evil intentions of dark witches in the Black Forest.
As the gondola ascends, Gretchen leans back and glances at the world behind her through the dismal fog.

i made a sandwich for a crackhead

and she was drooling.

so what does coincidence mean?

i could tell you a couple a stories, and i have an even hotter link. but you have to email me to get this.

ps. whoever sent me the anonymous email about hepatitis C - that is such bullshit!!!!!!

update

finally becoming drunk enough to escape the painful boredom.

what does it all mean

i came to something meaningful on the bus when i thought to myself, so-and-so was a douche-and-a-half. but one good thing did come outta this folk - a small metallic ipod nano case. (and he was in fact worse than he sounds). and so . . . is it so that i went throught all his nastiness just so one fateful day years later he would find a small metallic nano carrier on the floor of a coffee shop and hand it to me? but then, begs the question, is life all about the good? and in the same way, couldn't the point of all the pain and suffering also be to make me miserable, as in this instance misery is the objective. does this make sense?

im so inlove with annie

so . . .

i cant find much within myself to share today. i had an alright morning, but the night was just . . . not memorable. i did learn one thing - cabbage is not for spaghetti sauce. that's it. i tried to listen to B. Spears' new album, but not having it. Instead listening to this older Goldfrapp one. Blackcherry. cool.

I have a new love but this love is not a person. Just a thing. buying and selling clothes. It's fully thrilling. If anyone out there who reads my blog and does not comment has any advice or suggestions in this area, I would love ittttttttttt. Please share. Peace.

i am allergic to this picture

doesn't fit

and isn't it how weird we--humans--, meaning myself, create some distorted fantasy out of something entirely unlike itself. it's like i want this thing to be something that it isn't and it will never be that. and im attached to my incorrect perception of what this thing is. it is so bizarre. but at least i realize it.



and im meaning to blog about my most meaningful shopping day ever, i actually made money and the wheels are turning in my head, believe you me - who the fuck says that?





and i met someone. he is really special. it took an awkward moment to bring us closer, but sometimes it is that. and i don't want to reveal too much in case he someday reads my blog, but let's just say there was an accident involving coffee and money. and we both walked away unscathed. except for my heart. she is scathed as hell.

this guy looks like a movie star. g o r g e o u s.

but i have to say that i would like to change his hair a bit - i can't help the phrase 'douche bag' from popping into my head every time i behold his hairstyle. but it's okay. it's what he has to work with. and im not complaining. i would like to shed his hair all over the floor.

i was walking behind him

and damn he was looking fine.

i skipped across the street, and i silently walked behind him like a predator in the dark. he was wearing a black 'jousteece jacket', denim, and the essence of [gay] man. he be lookin soooooooo good! Girl, I tell you. And his haircut. There is just something fucking about it. And the way he walked - so swiftly; he is quick on his feet. He was skinnier on way down than I had originally noticed; he is very lean. Next time, he's mine.

miss u so bad

Can't we work it out?

You were super.

fuck all u haterz

bloggy blogg blog

here's a new pic.



I've been so bored since . . . Friday, and I'm glad I have my blog to listen to my sorrow. jk it's not sorry really, just really really bored. and that is weetahdid bc there is so much to do. A wise man said, 'What is the most universal characteristic, fear or laziness?'

additional new pix

last night

I have to blog this because there is no other outlet 4 my expression. And this officially means I cannot show my blog to prospective employers, but it's okay I have to let it out, lol. Last night . . . I woke up to . . . vomit! Can you believe that? This is what went down. I was in my bed, sleepin sleepin sleepin. Woke up, I'm like what the fuck are these crumbs in my bed? And then I remembered how when we got home I made a sandwichey thing - no dins this night! And then, I find random pieces of this 'sandwich' in my room, the plate was strewn on the floor. Anyways, I peer off my bed --and vomit! Can you belive that? I just straight up puked on my floor sometime after I ate the no-chicken chicken nuggs and fell asleep. I have like never done that! Seriously, in all my years of drinking, never have I just woken up to vomit on the floor. Sandra, what is going on with you? . . . This is one theory, because I must say, I didn't drink that much. 1 1/2 cocktails. 1 1/2 glasses of champagne. 1 1/2 glasses of wine. I honestly think that it's because the first 2 drinks were so sugary -- I was volunteering last night btw. But these drinks the bartender made me, I was like iiiiiiiiiick - so sugary! I couldn't even finish the lemon drop one. So, my theory - it was the sugar that made me sick, bc at the end of the night, I did even carry a tray of wine glasses up some stairs - that is seriously not for the drunk. Thank you to -- okay don't remember your name -- but thank you for driving me home. That was super. You were right *not okay to be walking around on 8th and Folsom in my 'state'. I hope I didn't say anything stupid on the ride home.

I knew I couldn't trust you

i had this dream earlier this week

and we were trying so hard to see each other, but it never worked out. and finally, at the end of the dream, you and i both realized that we only had two days left before I was leaving. and shouldn't we just have spent it together?

open letter to asshole # 15

well, you would have been . . . if you were that LUCKY. but no, you will go on your way, through life, someday realizing what you have lost - and you have lost it. like uhm. no THIRD chances. you know that phrase - fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me? It has already been twice. so you are done. After advice I can see clearly that you are very immature, and somehow - only god knows - you've gotten some kind of hook in me, playing on an insecurity of my own, which makes me wait for your calls and your attention. But I am too grown to fall for your bullshit. And what is wrong with you anyway? Seriously wtf? How can there be such a connection. And then nothing.


It's over.

How can this make sense in your mind?

It doesn't matter now, it's not about making sense, and it's not about our connection.

What it is about is knowing that I have a certain standard, and I know the way that I deserve to be treated.

And you cannot adhere to either.
So, you are done.

bhuddy

untitled

I just met a girl named Maria

and it turns out, she's not who i thought :( but you know what? that's okay damnit. she is a fellow human being, and no one is perfect.

This is what's going on with me.

Parents just left town. Drove away in my white Camry, which is a good thing. Having this car in the city was nothing great for me, just another way to get parking tickets. I must say, I was not impressed with this restaurant we went to last night. It is too bad we didn't choose another. This was in North Beach. The first place, Calzone's Pizza Cucina, seemed aight, especially the bruschetta. And the location. Wine too.

I am getting ready for my yoga work trade and making a birthday card. Today I untangled all of my jewelery. I'm trying to improve the Feng shui of my room. I think it is improving. And this week i met some guy whom I thought was super but turns out he is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

tunez i like

worst day ever.

where can i even start. okay maybe it wasn't so bad, but I still maintain that the dmv is one of the unhappiest places I have ever been to in my entire life. And, today work was so ghetto. also, there's more.

the bus driver was kind of an ass.

Actually,

it all comes to an end eh?

I just met a girl named Maria

The most beautiful sound I ever heard
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word - Maria
I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name
Will never be the same to me.
Maria - I just kissed a girl named Maria
And suddenly I found how wonderful a sound can be
Maria - say it loud and there's music playing
Say it soft and it's almost like praying - Maria
I'll never stop saying Maria, Maria, Maria...

Why are you angry Sandy?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

because i was just like in the dmv and daaaaaaaaaaang went away empty handed. wtf? isn't it such a cruel world. first i lose my wallet with all my tips from the week, can't get no id, can't get no respect.

some new pixtures 4 yall

Crazy Random Cool

I've been having psychic dreams. No joke. Two in two weeks, and one a few months ago. WTF? What does this meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan?

Writing from Bed

Why? I've been noticing that more people are reading my blog. I think this is because I linked it to my Yelp page, and sheesh I'm all over Yelp Denver. This is because I was hired by Yelp as a marketing assistant to establish Yelp Denver in early 2007. Troof. Anyways, I can't sleep. Tonight my family held a dinner for my friends. Nice, eh? I am so glad to finally have found the perfect vegetarian BBQ item - portobello mushies. Serio, your carnvey friends will be jealous. Oh, and I'm in Colorado right now, but I'm ready to go back and try again. I'm ready to be something more than a barista in San Francisco. Not that the job market is great right now. But no one wants to see me serving coffee, including myself.

I saw Burn After Reading. Not bad, not bad. But still so Hollywood, had trouble escaping conventions. But you've never seen Brad Pitt like this before.



The film reminded me of Dr. Strangelove in a few scenes - especially the phone conversation between B. Pitt's character and John Malkovich, who was fabulous btw.



Also, I think the film is directly alluded to in the scenes where George Clooney walks out of the restroom, smacking himself on the midsection. Anyways, worth seeing, but it's no There Will Be Blood.

New Musics!

I know I haven't been writing much, but that's gonna change now that I'm back to having one job instead of two. So check back y' hear! I'm recording an album too.

im really angry right now

I am upset with my guest. Why am I upset? I suppose essentially it is over something that happened to me over two years ago, when I stayed with this guest in Berlin. He was my host then, and he was a fine host at that. But, I was taken advantage of here, and I am coming out with it for the first time. I suppose it is from the encouragement of others that I have realized what happened to me was wrong, and it is not my fault. I lost my temper last night and explosively kicked this person out of my house (after asking him to leave more than once). The best word to describe the way I felt when I came home only to find this person asleep in my bedroom is furious. I could've killed that motherfucker! DON'T MESS WITH THIS BITCH!!!!!! Especially after cocktails. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IN BERLIN WAS WRONG. I HATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTE YOU! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT IS OKAY? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My roommates think you smell, and they are throwing away the couch cushions that you slept on. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

WHAAAAAAAAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFCUK

I was always conscientious to keep my blog clean as they say, because I was looking for some job where I thought they might take a peek. Turns out no!!!!! And i have another job now you bitches. And yes I did make a few mistakes today. But one of them was not, not knowing Spanish, k? It's all bout the body language.

Pieces of Me

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Roots - Old photos

Be Afriad of What's Behind You

hot mess trax

yeah i own it.

What to do.

Everything is so . . . I saw a great jazz band in a coffee shop. Total hottie next to me, but undoubtedly gay. Hard being a single girl in this city! I like the barista because she is cute, and I like her taste in music. I had a job interview today. Pray for me! Lord Jesus Christ Have Mercy on Me, right? And it has come to . . . this. I've captured the essence of the ocean. What more can I do. Speaking with my gramma and my friends - that is nice. But at the moment I don't feel for the phone. I need to clean this mess, but nah. I'm done drinking wine, like, all the time. Too much sugar. I have no groceries. Last night I made saag paneer with tofu as a substitute for cheese. The sauce was delicious, but the rest - something was up with the chickpeas. There were too many of them, and they tasted rather dry.





There is a girl who lives across the street from me. I wouldn't be surprised if we became friends since we are literally across from each other on the same level. She has an iridescent yellow curtain that bellows in the wind. Mine was blue, until I became sick of it's iridescence, right?

What's it all 4?

It's Wednesday, that means tomorrow is trash day. And I have to move my car the day after that. What do i see when i look out my window? Some guy, his dog; they are collecting trash. But actually what are they even doing? I noticed his coat - an upside down smiley face, a frown. Dog seemed happy enough though. I guess it's what they do. I guess he knows that Thursday is trash day here. Actually I broke glass when i was taking out the recycling, and I even cut my palm.