it's been too long, yal

can u believe it has been so long? i really cant, but at the same time i can. nearly one year has passed since my same entry, and might i say that i am astounded by the nature of this world's serendipity? Admittedly, I suck at tons of things. In fact, I think i have strange metal disorder where logic is somewhat distorted, i mean visually. It's almost like that kid in Royal Tennanbaum's 'Hinesburg' syndrome or something, like visually I cannot reproduce/ fathom an image as if in a mirror. . . . Never mind.

Today was somewhat good.... Thank u universe for bringing back to me something that i had in mind. u really r grand. i knew this was something i connected w :) oh and also, thank u for making me enroll in fashion school. what a brilliant manifestation of evolution.

Bermuda Triangle

Dear Angenlina Jolie,

Do you ever worry that someday when Brad is filming a movie he will meet a new woman to love?


PS I think you are such an asshole.

Love,

Jen

help me Jesus

Help me Jesus help me to find what im lookin for for

Help me find what im looking for
Because it’s looking kind of scarce

I want you to know
I really want you to know know


That nothing excites me
Nothing excites me sweet Jesus


anymore

this website is totlee trippin me out

haiku

stupid bottle of merlot

why did ya make me drink ya?

totally not cool

Lyon to Paris

I cam into Paris via thumb. What a day of hitchhiking!

*For the purposes of this story, let me only recount the details of my sour ride from Lyon to Paris.

I suppose it wasn’t really so bad. It is always elating to be on the open highway in some foreign country, with the wind blowing in your hair. However, your company is impertinent, and in this particular instance, my company was revolting. He was a round man, and I remember him as if in overalls. He couldn’t have been a day under 60, really.

The entire ride was a battle, but sill I maintained the persona I had created as a form of entertainment for others, for nothing is free. It was this person whom chatted with lonely truck drivers and empty transplanted citizens of foreign cities. could I help it if at times they became enamored, drunk on the joy of beholding another human's presence? I could not. I could only say no.

Hercules and Love Affair

PS

It's my birthday!!!!!!!!



I am so excited that we are sharing it together. What did you do with yourself tonight? Me? Oh, you know, I just cleaned my room. It is very clean. Also I drank a bottle of wine. And dontchaknow . . . this bottle of wine shares the name of the agent I met with from the staffing agency today. How bizarre! Tomorrow I will go to the beach and to the spa. I will reflect on these 25 sweethearts. Right now I am burning candles. You know I am a fire sign.




Thanks 4 reading <3
PS. dear beloved 'stranger' readers (pps I love strangers). Where do you find my blog? I am so delighted that you are here.

Dear Mr. Bi-polar,

You are so Bi-polar.

What is your problem anyway?

I don't like your bi-polar or your bi-polar.

Love,

Not-bi-polar

Love

DMMMVVVVVVVVVVVV

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh. are you fucking kidding me? Today was my 3rd trip to the dmv. I had an appointment. I had my passport, my birth cert., my ss card. I turned in my paperwork. I had my picture taken. I waited in line after line after line. I TOOK A WRITTEN DRIVING TEST AND I PASSED!!!! What do you want from me DMV, I can't take your mind games, can I plz just have a driver's license? What is the hold up, seriously this is torture.

Sunset Boulevard

so vague, yet so memorable

What is it about Paris? There is just something about it.

Jesus.

i just think that you are so hot. I'm dying. I hope that someday I will get to meet you.

ps

actually it was more like this

i thought i'd write a new post

. . . bc my last one was so retarded. i have to admit that I am pretty bored. I am drinking wine, and trying to get creative. Also, I'm cruising Salon Personals. Actually, I'm thinking of someone special though. If you are him, call me k? I know it didn't last long, but I miss hangin with ya.

dreamt my mouth was like this

kinda


chk back

don't try to find us

. . . and we're having a party.

I'm trippin

Sea Monkey

white coast lawyer.

The New Sins

She is on a chairlift in the Black Forest

It is a frigid, foggy day. She has never seen fog like this before. It is harsh, curt, quiet, and unwelcoming.
She can only conjure images of Hansel and Gretel, children screaming to the evil intentions of dark witches in the Black Forest.
As the gondola ascends, Gretchen leans back and glances at the world behind her through the dismal fog.

i made a sandwich for a crackhead

and she was drooling.

so what does coincidence mean?

i could tell you a couple a stories, and i have an even hotter link. but you have to email me to get this.

ps. whoever sent me the anonymous email about hepatitis C - that is such bullshit!!!!!!

update

finally becoming drunk enough to escape the painful boredom.

what does it all mean

i came to something meaningful on the bus when i thought to myself, so-and-so was a douche-and-a-half. but one good thing did come outta this folk - a small metallic ipod nano case. (and he was in fact worse than he sounds). and so . . . is it so that i went throught all his nastiness just so one fateful day years later he would find a small metallic nano carrier on the floor of a coffee shop and hand it to me? but then, begs the question, is life all about the good? and in the same way, couldn't the point of all the pain and suffering also be to make me miserable, as in this instance misery is the objective. does this make sense?

im so inlove with annie

so . . .

i cant find much within myself to share today. i had an alright morning, but the night was just . . . not memorable. i did learn one thing - cabbage is not for spaghetti sauce. that's it. i tried to listen to B. Spears' new album, but not having it. Instead listening to this older Goldfrapp one. Blackcherry. cool.

I have a new love but this love is not a person. Just a thing. buying and selling clothes. It's fully thrilling. If anyone out there who reads my blog and does not comment has any advice or suggestions in this area, I would love ittttttttttt. Please share. Peace.

i am allergic to this picture

doesn't fit

and isn't it how weird we--humans--, meaning myself, create some distorted fantasy out of something entirely unlike itself. it's like i want this thing to be something that it isn't and it will never be that. and im attached to my incorrect perception of what this thing is. it is so bizarre. but at least i realize it.



and im meaning to blog about my most meaningful shopping day ever, i actually made money and the wheels are turning in my head, believe you me - who the fuck says that?





and i met someone. he is really special. it took an awkward moment to bring us closer, but sometimes it is that. and i don't want to reveal too much in case he someday reads my blog, but let's just say there was an accident involving coffee and money. and we both walked away unscathed. except for my heart. she is scathed as hell.

this guy looks like a movie star. g o r g e o u s.

but i have to say that i would like to change his hair a bit - i can't help the phrase 'douche bag' from popping into my head every time i behold his hairstyle. but it's okay. it's what he has to work with. and im not complaining. i would like to shed his hair all over the floor.

i was walking behind him

and damn he was looking fine.

i skipped across the street, and i silently walked behind him like a predator in the dark. he was wearing a black 'jousteece jacket', denim, and the essence of [gay] man. he be lookin soooooooo good! Girl, I tell you. And his haircut. There is just something fucking about it. And the way he walked - so swiftly; he is quick on his feet. He was skinnier on way down than I had originally noticed; he is very lean. Next time, he's mine.

miss u so bad

Can't we work it out?

You were super.

fuck all u haterz

bloggy blogg blog

here's a new pic.



I've been so bored since . . . Friday, and I'm glad I have my blog to listen to my sorrow. jk it's not sorry really, just really really bored. and that is weetahdid bc there is so much to do. A wise man said, 'What is the most universal characteristic, fear or laziness?'

additional new pix

last night

I have to blog this because there is no other outlet 4 my expression. And this officially means I cannot show my blog to prospective employers, but it's okay I have to let it out, lol. Last night . . . I woke up to . . . vomit! Can you believe that? This is what went down. I was in my bed, sleepin sleepin sleepin. Woke up, I'm like what the fuck are these crumbs in my bed? And then I remembered how when we got home I made a sandwichey thing - no dins this night! And then, I find random pieces of this 'sandwich' in my room, the plate was strewn on the floor. Anyways, I peer off my bed --and vomit! Can you belive that? I just straight up puked on my floor sometime after I ate the no-chicken chicken nuggs and fell asleep. I have like never done that! Seriously, in all my years of drinking, never have I just woken up to vomit on the floor. Sandra, what is going on with you? . . . This is one theory, because I must say, I didn't drink that much. 1 1/2 cocktails. 1 1/2 glasses of champagne. 1 1/2 glasses of wine. I honestly think that it's because the first 2 drinks were so sugary -- I was volunteering last night btw. But these drinks the bartender made me, I was like iiiiiiiiiick - so sugary! I couldn't even finish the lemon drop one. So, my theory - it was the sugar that made me sick, bc at the end of the night, I did even carry a tray of wine glasses up some stairs - that is seriously not for the drunk. Thank you to -- okay don't remember your name -- but thank you for driving me home. That was super. You were right *not okay to be walking around on 8th and Folsom in my 'state'. I hope I didn't say anything stupid on the ride home.

I knew I couldn't trust you

i had this dream earlier this week

and we were trying so hard to see each other, but it never worked out. and finally, at the end of the dream, you and i both realized that we only had two days left before I was leaving. and shouldn't we just have spent it together?

open letter to asshole # 15

well, you would have been . . . if you were that LUCKY. but no, you will go on your way, through life, someday realizing what you have lost - and you have lost it. like uhm. no THIRD chances. you know that phrase - fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me? It has already been twice. so you are done. After advice I can see clearly that you are very immature, and somehow - only god knows - you've gotten some kind of hook in me, playing on an insecurity of my own, which makes me wait for your calls and your attention. But I am too grown to fall for your bullshit. And what is wrong with you anyway? Seriously wtf? How can there be such a connection. And then nothing.


It's over.

How can this make sense in your mind?

It doesn't matter now, it's not about making sense, and it's not about our connection.

What it is about is knowing that I have a certain standard, and I know the way that I deserve to be treated.

And you cannot adhere to either.
So, you are done.

bhuddy

untitled

I just met a girl named Maria

and it turns out, she's not who i thought :( but you know what? that's okay damnit. she is a fellow human being, and no one is perfect.

This is what's going on with me.

Parents just left town. Drove away in my white Camry, which is a good thing. Having this car in the city was nothing great for me, just another way to get parking tickets. I must say, I was not impressed with this restaurant we went to last night. It is too bad we didn't choose another. This was in North Beach. The first place, Calzone's Pizza Cucina, seemed aight, especially the bruschetta. And the location. Wine too.

I am getting ready for my yoga work trade and making a birthday card. Today I untangled all of my jewelery. I'm trying to improve the Feng shui of my room. I think it is improving. And this week i met some guy whom I thought was super but turns out he is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

tunez i like

worst day ever.

where can i even start. okay maybe it wasn't so bad, but I still maintain that the dmv is one of the unhappiest places I have ever been to in my entire life. And, today work was so ghetto. also, there's more.

the bus driver was kind of an ass.

Actually,

it all comes to an end eh?

I just met a girl named Maria

The most beautiful sound I ever heard
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word - Maria
I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly that name
Will never be the same to me.
Maria - I just kissed a girl named Maria
And suddenly I found how wonderful a sound can be
Maria - say it loud and there's music playing
Say it soft and it's almost like praying - Maria
I'll never stop saying Maria, Maria, Maria...